Go Back, Go Back, Go Back

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One of the main things I had wanted to buy at Super Center was my foil star stickers, and what do you think I forgot when I went there with Chuck yesterday? Yep. The stickers.

On a positive note we were able to add seventeen gallons of water to Chelsea’s aquarium. The sad news is that it could probably use a couple more gallons, too. It really got low. Now I only wish we could do something about the flickering lights. If there were a way to unscrew the light panel it would be easy enough to replace them, but there are no screws. I don’t know what those little flat pieces are that attach the light panel to the hood, but they are not screws. Maybe the best thing to do is take the whole hood into Pet Smart and let them look at it. I think it will be hard to find a hood exactly like this one because it is kind of divided on top. Instead of having one large opening at the top of the aquarium, there are two.

I have had a couple of good days on Trim Healthy Mama. I went back to what I knew: oatmeal and smoothies, and I know the longer I go without caving to bad habits the easier it will get for me. When in doubt, go back, go back, go back to what worked before and then build from there.

I know the treadmill is what worked before, but, man, my foot! That piercing jabbing pain on the bridge of my foot keeps me from wanting to be on it for long. I shouldn’t complain. Even if it hurts, at least I have a foot to walk on.

To make matters worse, I have no one to blame but myself. It’s my own fault that it got this bad. If I had stayed active, if only I had kept doing my treadmill every day, my joints and muscles would not have gotten stiffer.

Oh, how easily I forgot my famous last words: I’m not ever going back to where I was. Friends, I’m here to say that it’s easier to fall back into old mindsets and patterns than I had thought, so, even if it’s a teeny, tiny step, that step has to be forward and not backward.

Find encouragement where you can. If you can’t find it within yourself or with your spouse or immediate family unit, then find it elsewhere, but find that kind, gentle voice that lets you know you can do this, that you’re not wasting your time, that you and your family are worth the effort to be healthy. Put the naysayers behind you: leave them in the dust and soldier on to that healthier, happier life that is within your grasp.

Chuck tightened the belt of the treadmill yesterday. I think it may have done the trick. We shall see. We hope so, because the new motor would have cost us a pretty penny. It’s not surprising, though, I suppose, that the motor on a $1,300 treadmill would cost in excess of $300. Still, even if it is the motor, that would be cheaper to replace than the whole treadmill–unless, of course, I could find a steal at a garage sale. That’s always in the realm of possibilities. People make extravagant purchases, with every intention in the world of following through and getting healthy. Six months later they sadly realize that the treadmill they spent a month’s salary on has done nothing more than provide another place to hang their clothes.

He was afraid that wasn’t the problem because one side already felt like it was pretty tight. He found the right kind of wrench out in the garage and got it done. Both of us are going to start using it, he says.

I’m blessed to have the husband I have. He’s been a trooper about Trim Healthy Mama, and he has made several changes to his own diet. What I’m about to type is something that four years ago would have been foreign to me: we haven’t had a baked potato for more than three years. In fact, except for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don’t even buy potatoes, anymore.

A Facebook memory appeared on Chuck’s timeline yesterday, and he said, “I just saw an old picture of you from 2011, and there’s no way you have gained all your weight back. You still look a lot better than you did.”

Okay, there has to be truth in that because yesterday I wore a 2X top that I got off of Ebay. It isn’t even stretchy, but it still looks nice on me. It doesn’t flatten my chest or cut the circulation off in my arms. I’m not too far gone. It is indeed possible to pick right up after my “glitch” and find success again.

I can’t wait to get my new book! I even found a video of the author, after I purchased the book and was instantly engaged with her personality. It was hard to believe that the sweet, young, pretty thing on the video had ever experienced an epic battle with a birthday cake like the one she described on her daughter’s first birthday, but that account let me know I am definitely not alone in this food addiction thing.

Next year is my 40th class reunion (wow, that’s a big number!). Wouldn’t it be great if I can kick this sugar addiction to the curb and get down to a respectable weight before then?

2 thoughts on “Go Back, Go Back, Go Back”

  1. Food addiction is more common than we know. So many people live to eat, rather than eat to live. The hardest part about food addiction is that it is in our heads first, then our flesh takes over. The shame is almost as bad as the undesirable weight. Keep on going back, Dirinda. You have not lost your way. xoxoxo

  2. This post is so much more positive than the last few. You really can do this!! Keep at it. Just one step at a time. Cheering for you. Your progress encourages me!!

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