Whatever Works

I hope my quest for knowledge starts to knock out my compulsion for food. Today I will hit Amazon and buy a book or two more on food addiction.

I was let down by It Was Me All Along. The writing was good, but the author had had weight-loss surgery. My goal is to find someone who has conquered food without invasive surgeries. Or yoga.

The book I am currently reading I had to put down last night because the author started talking about guided meditations. She said she had grown up in a religious (I’m taking that to mean “Christian” household) where anything not related to God or Jesus was considered questionable or even evil. I would concur with that. Eastern spirituality has no place in my life. I’m not going to start anything that sends up red flags just to lose a little weight.

There has to be another way. My feet still hurt this morning, from my vacation and all that time cooped up in a car, but I took some ibuprofen and plan to get on the treadmill in just a few minutes.

Just as a bunch of small steps in the right direction add up in a good way, so do a bunch of small steps off the beaten path take you somewhere you really don’t want to be. My joints are stiffer and my knee and feet hurt more. It’s movement that keeps your joints and muscles looser. Use them or lose them.

I have a few tops that I bought after I lost my sixty-five pounds that don’t fit me, anymore, and I’m catching glimpses of someone in the mirror who horrifies me. I told Chelsea the other day that I’m starting to collect a new batch of “before” pictures. When someone takes my picture I catch myself cringing.

But today is a new day. I’m starting off with journaling/blogging. When the ibuprofen kicks in I will get on the treadmill. Then I will have a plan-approved breakfast.

At Dollar Tree yesterday I bought myself a composition book. Today I will buy some colored foil stars. Each day, whenever I do my treadmill, I will give myself a gold star. Whenever I go a day eating clean I will give myself a silver star. Each day I blog/journal/spend time reading about food addiction I will give myself a green star (for growing and learning). Each day I put three hours between each snack or meal I will give myself either a blue star or a red star. Okay, I haven’t worked out all the colors, yet, or even what other thing–oh, YES, I have!!! It just came to me! A blue star will be each day that I drink all my water. That leaves the red star for making it three hours between snacks and meals.

I should weigh myself. That is the logical next step. But I’m afraid. I need someone to hold my hand. I don’t think I can face that number alone. I won’t face that number alone, and, yet, I find myself in a precarious situation because I don’t want anyone else to know what it is, either.

Whatever it takes, whatever works, that’s what I will do. If I have to take my Trim Healthy Mama book down off the shelf and read it again, I will do that. If I have to start back at the beginning of my blog and try to catch some of my old enthusiasm I will do that, too.

After my treadmill and breakfast I will buy my foil stars and get started–back to where I was. Wherever I found success the first time I will find it again. Without weight loss surgery, without yoga or any other Eastern religion transcendental meditation.

I want to accomplish better health and weight loss without any foreign agents. I welcome all prayer, and, of course, the help of my Lord. I wish I could learn what it is in me that is getting in my way.

Today I’m feeling overwhelmed but optimistic. Let’s do this thing.

37 thoughts on “Whatever Works”

  1. I am right there with you. I have fallen from the path and I am so disgusted! No pictures of me, please!

  2. I totally feel what you are saying! For years I tried to bring myself into submission – eat right, exercise, be miserable – repeat. Just recently the Lord delivered me from my sugar addiction. I mean one day it was a complete battle to skip by sugary sweets and the next day I had NO desire for them. We have not because we ask not. I finally ASKED God to heal me of my addiction and He was faithful! I share this to encourage you – everything is not perfect, I’m still a work in progress, but with God all things are possible. Great idea with the stickers! Be blessed

    1. Thank you for sharing to encourage me! I went to buy the stickers and our Walmart did not have any. I may be taking a trip to Dollar Tree in the next town today. I have my first page in my progress chart all marked off and ready to go.

  3. I love you, Dirinda. I can feel your pain!! I’ve been there so many times!! Ironically you are one of the ones who finally got me pointed in the right direction with THM. Sadly it has not always been a straight road to goal and many of the pounds I lost 4 or more times because of my weakness.
    As of today I have officially lost 95 total. I cannot exercise because of the pain in my back. But I am moving more!!!!
    I am going to be praying especially for you today. God will give you the strength and courage. It is His will to honor our bodies.
    Love you ???

    1. Oh, BONNIE!!!! I am THRILLED for you! You have lost NINETY-FIVE pounds! I had no idea! I wish I were there so I could congratulate you with a big hug!

  4. I am having same problem. I did THM and went down to size 6. Now I am size 16. I can’t seem to get started again or figure out what to eat. I always say tomorrow. I will pray for you . it is very depression g. I don’t have any clothes to wear.

    1. Never in my life have I seen a size 6!!!! I would be thrilled to death with a 16 right now! Today is new. Hoping to make it through and build steam for tomorrow!

    1. I got on the treadmill and did two and a half minutes until is stopped. I really need a new motor. It’s so stinking hot outside that even the thought of going to the walking track makes me sweat. I had baked oatmeal (in the microwave) for breakfast, and I may have a mocha protein shake for lunch. Later I may go to the Dollar Tree for the foil stars. Our Walmart didn’t have any. I am giving myself a star for making it through three hours in between meals and snacks. I’m also giving myself a star for remembering to take my vitamins every day. I need major encouragement. If I have to revert back to the mindset of a kindergartner and clamor for shiny stars on my paper, so be it. I’m hoping my OCD will REQUIRE me to get every star possible for every day/page.

  5. Weight Loss – the journey. I hear you.

    “Finally Thin by Kim Bensen” is the story of a woman who found weight loss success without surgery and I don’t remember yoga being part of it. She lost 200 pounds and recommends finding a weight loss program that works for you – be it Weight Watchers or South Beach. She doesn’t promote one over the other because she says what worked for her might not work as well for you.

    She promotes instead using a food diary and being accountable to someone – but most important is losing weight for yourself and not for someone else – even your husband or children.

    Good luck Dirinda. I will send up a prayer.

  6. Dirinda, you have inspired me today. 28 lbs. lost last year following THM. Then those little steps off the path through the holidays. I told myself I’d maintain and then get back on track in January. Here it is July, I’m up 10 lbs and still struggling to get back on track. Sweets are my down fall. But here’s the crazy part, starting last July sugar started not tasting right – less sweet, almost sour. You’d think that would deter me from eating sweets, but no, my brain remembers what it tastes like and keeps craving it. I need to change my brain to remember more of how bad the sugar makes me feel and less of how good it used to taste. You have inspired me not to give up and to make better choices. Today I will pull out my Trim Healthy Mama book to read again and this weekend I will prep for the week ahead.

    1. I know we can do this, Cheryl! I know because we did it before! Thanks for your kind comment. Sugar is a beast and my downfall, too. Not only that, food (especially sugar) is an idol to me. I’ve been browsing the books on Amazon and I can see how I run to food in any circumstance instead of running to God. It’s time to retrain my brain.

  7. I will hold your hand……and not look! ?
    I have missed you and your writing…..glad you are back!

  8. Dirinda, you did this once and you can do it again!!! Take Cameron or Chelsea to hold your hand and help you get through the weighing part. You know they love you unconditionally and want only to encourage you!! Can I get a new motor for your tread mill?? Tell me how much it is and I will
    Send you the money You can do this!! Stop thinking about sugar cookies!! Think about your family and how much they love and need you ???

    1. Bonnie, thank you so much, but no, ma’am! I will get my own motor, and Chuck will watch a YouTube video on how to install it. Plasma donation is exactly for this kind of thing! You are such a good friend to me, and I sincerely appreciate your generous, generous offer.

  9. Love you girl. I’m trying to read the books again. I know where you are. Weigh with Jesus. There will be no judging there.

  10. Just like so many others who have commented, I too see myself in your post. I get so discouraged and then I binge. So instead of losing, i gain. It seems like every step forward is two steps backward. I was attending a support group, but seemed to go nowhere. I quit that too. I have managed to make it through the last three days. I don’t like saying it that way because I can do all things with the Lord’s strength. I’m joining in with you again just like many of the others. Thanks for posting and sharing. That in itself is an encouragement. Praying for you as you get back on track!

    1. God bless you, Ellen! It is now 4:50, and I haven’t messed the day up, yet! With God’s help, we will persevere! I just ordered Full: Food, Jesus and the Battle for Satisfaction from Amazon. I’ll keep you posted. I read the foreward and the first couple of pages, and, so far, I love it!

    2. I am rooting for you too as you have been so inspiring. I mentioned to someone that they should check out Dirinda’s Daily Dish over in the THM group and she was so excited at the mention of your name and wanted to know if you were posting again. It seemed that not just her but many knew of your site.
      I have a million excuses as to why I have not stayed on track. Mostly for me it has been a health problem that I have that holds me back. Kristi (daughter) would love your stars for the variety of accomplishments. I will have to show it to her when she is alone again and Husband has gone back to the mine.
      Please let me know how the book goes. I am going to write down the title right this minute. You are in my prayers daily as always.

      1. Jan, thank you so much! I was not able to get the stars today, but I got my progress chart ready to go! I’ll check at Dollar Tree tomorrow, if I can make it to Odessa after church.

  11. Dirinda;
    It’s been a good while since I fell off the THM wagon. i was doing so good but then somewhere i took a wrong turn and have struggled to start again. Im glad i started up reading your posts again. I have trouble too with sugar and emotional eating. If you can do it then i surely can give it a another go. Praying for all of us.

    ***ps..maybe you remember me….i ordered all that jewelry from Chelsea for remeberance gifts for my sisters fam.

  12. Thank you for your honest sharing. It has happened to me, too. Bad things keep happening with my health and instead of sticking to what is a healthy way to eat, I eat healthy part of the time and seek comfort from old bad eating habits at others. It’s so difficult when you have painstakingly lost weight only to have it just come back on in what seems an instant. I am inspired by your determination and I am going to try to get in gear myself to get back on track!

    1. It’s just insane the way we keep sabotaging ourselves and justifying it and then beating ourselves up over it later! It seems a never-ending cycle, but I’m determined to count myself with the ones who have broken food’s grip. It’s harder for some than others, I’m sure, just because of the unhealthy relationship with food that was modeled to me when I was growing up.

  13. Thank you for being so honest. I too have fallen. Taking back your temple, is a wonderful Christian based book on weight loss.

    1. I will try to keep that one in mind, too! Wow, there seems to be no end to good recommendations! I am impressed with all I’ve looked at so far on Amazon!

  14. Thank you so much for writing this!!! I could totally relate to this from the being terrified to weigh,to hating to exercise,to just craving sweets! I have fallen so far off the wagon & have such a negative mind set of ” it’s impossible & I should give up & just be ok with being fat”. But you’re blog post has given me renewed courage to get up & press on! God bless- love your writing!

  15. I just saw this and had to comment. I had also fallen off the THM wagon. I recently have gotten back on (May) and have been good at keeping on plan. I do find my self sliding a bit and have to put the brakes on and tighten up to the basics. I find that because of my slow metabolism, 3.5 hours seems to let my body burn more of itself and I lose more ounces. Notice I said ounces, not pounds. I’ve learned to take the small losses as victory because they DO add up! Anyway, keep plugging away, before yo know it, those tight tops will fit again!

    1. Thanks, Vickie! 3.5 hours does sound feasible! I have lower metabolism, too, I think! Dr. Phil says we should only eat three meals a day because the more meals we eat the more opportunities we have to overeat. I’ve gone back to basics, too. Oatmeal and smoothies. When I don’t know what to have, I go to those because I love them and I know they’re on plan!

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