Changing My Mantra

If you’ve followed me for very long, you’ve probably heard me say that “I don’t do hard.” As a child, I would get frustrated and pop the buttons off the back of my dresses because I couldn’t unbutton them behind my neck. Even now I’m trying to understand why a parent would buy a little girl a dress that buttoned in the back–at least if that little girl was expected to dress and undress herself.

That frustration followed me into my teen and adult years (and I find it completely logical that those same manifestations of anger and frustration have surfaced in my own son’s behavior throughout his life). For instance, I never learned to put on my bra properly. I didn’t have the time or patience to line up the hooks and eyelets behind my back. Who did those bra manufacturers think I was, Houdini?

What I would do is fasten the hooks in the front of my body and twist the bra around to where it was supposed to be and then put my arms in the straps and pull them up over my shoulders. This was contrary to how my mother put on her brassiere, but, then, I am lazy. I have always been lazy and, as a toddler, I was also not very bright.

When Mom and Dad would have us pick up our toys, my brother, who was two years younger than I, would load up his arms and haul all he could carry in one trip to the toy box. I would pick up one toy, carry to the toy box and then return for another. Well, you know, back then I didn’t have a treadmill and I had to get my walking in somehow! Of course, I’m being facetious. The furthest thing from my mind was getting exercise, and, if I had weighed the thing out in my small brain, I may have concluded that carrying more was better than making seven or eight trips to the toy box.

Don’t most of us do the same thing now with our groceries? We load ourselves up with eight or nine heavy bags and try to open our front doors with our pinkies or elbows. Heaven forbid that we have to make two trips to our car!

I guess you know that Flylady recommends taking only your frozen goods in first, putting them away and then returning for more. This makes perfect sense, certainly more sense than balancing all those bags (and boxes maybe!) and trying to free an appendage to open the front door!

With Trim Healthy Mama I have always said it must be easy because “I don’t do hard.” The fact is, it isn’t always easy. The concept is easy, but following it perfectly 100% of the time is not.

There are times when life’s stress creeps in, and sometimes we may even be plagued with bouts of depression. When that happens we slip into old patterns and destructive food choices.

What I have noticed is that, as I slacked on the treadmill, I slacked on saying no to sugar. We went on vacation and I returned to finally weigh myself after many promptings by my husband and son. I was horrified to learn that I had gained weight, not just a little weight, either. It was a substantial amount of weight.

I was afraid to weigh because, just as losing weight is a motivation to keep losing more, gaining weight has a tendency to do the exact opposite–and I didn’t want that to happen. What if I completely gave up?

It took me a week, but I lost six of the pounds I had gained back. I haven’t completely given up. I’m still having oatmeal for breakfast most days or Ezekiel toast and chocolate peanut butter shakes with okra, and I’m still having salads or burgers without buns or pizza on low-carb wraps for lunch. The fact is that I’m still not eating buns or potatoes or rice or pasta, but . . . And there’s the big, fat but. The sugar! Oh, the sugar. Please, God, free me from this addiction.

For lunch today Chelsea and I went to the Mexican restaurant. Now, they have excellent cheesecake there that is only $2.25 per slice. Did I mention that it’s very good cheesecake? I can have an awesome on-plan meal (no rice or tortillas) and then totally destroy it with a piece of cheesecake.

Today I had a grilled chicken salad with extra veggies and a dollop of sour cream on top. I did not partake of the cheesecake. I told Chelsea beforehand that I would come home and make myself either a chocolate muffin in a mug or a peanut butter cheesecake shake for dessert. That gave me something to look forward to, to keep my mind off the cheesecake. Then I got home and decided I didn’t really even want dessert, so I just drank some water. Victory.

It was a small victory, but one small victory piled on top of another amounts to one great big victory.

I continue to watch Extreme Weight-Loss Makeover and I halfway identify with the people on that show. I say “halfway” because I’m still convinced that I couldn’t do what they have resolved to do. “I don’t do hard.” I can’t seem to help it. I hear myself speaking those destructive words to my heart. That, my friends, is negative self-talk.

I’m changing my mantra. My new mantra will be “I can do hard and not die.” I love that mantra because it is an ambiguous statement. It can mean “the treadmill won’t kill me” or it can mean “if I do the treadmill I can live longer.”

To cement my new mantra into my brain, for the last two weeks, I have put on my bra the correct way. A couple of times I wanted to cuss (and I don’t cuss!) and a couple of times I wanted to give up and a couple of times I wanted to rip and tear my bra into a million pieces and throw it against the wall. I could feel angry tears ready to come spilling out, but I held them back, just as I held back any cuss words lurking there in the darkness of my mad and frustrated heart. (It could very well be that I need therapy!)

I know you probably don’t care, but putting on my bra is getting easier now. I can do hard and not die.

I don’t like sweating or getting dirt under my fingernails or a whole host of other things, but I can do hard and not die.

With God as my helper, I can be free of a sugar addiction. On Extreme Weight Loss Makeover, the nutritionist said that the cravings should wane after a week of no sugar. I’ve done it before and I can do it, again. And I can do hard and not die. Lord, help me, please–if not on my own, then by Your strength.

11 thoughts on “Changing My Mantra”

  1. Thank you, Dirinda, for teaching me something.
    I now know how I’m supposed to correctly put on my bra.
    One question? Do I remove bra the same way?
    Seriously, I’ve always fastened and unfastened in front and then twisted bra around to fit.
    Maybe I can ‘do hard’ if I really try…?

    1. I take it off the same way I put it on, which is easier than putting it on for some reason. The main reason I started doing this, which I neglected to mention in my blog, was that several of my underwire bras started stabbing me in the sides during the day and I would have to tug at the sides of my bra and try to hide the wires back into the fabric. It occurred to me that maybe I was tearing the fabric of my bras by tugging and twisting them around my body instead of putting them on the right way.

  2. I put my bra on that way too! No different than how two different people tie their shoes. Keep on keeping on, Diranda! You motivate me 🙂

  3. I thought hooking it in front WAS the right way?! I’ve never done it any other way and never been told that it was wrong! Lololol it’s literally the only way I can do it so.. .

    1. I think I was destroying my bras by twisting them. The underwires were poking through the fabric and stabbing me. lol I thought I could be gentler on the fabric by not pulling at it and twisting it around my body.

  4. I’ve always done the “twist thing” too…for no other reason than that’s how my mom showed me you are to do it..lol.
    Love your blog..love your transparency…love the relateability..love that are paths have crossed in this world!
    Enjoy your day!

  5. You can do hard:)
    I’m rooting for you!!
    Philippians 4:13
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
    Love you, my THM Friend❤️

  6. I have always done the twist, too! AND my under wires have poked through all of them so I just found support with no wires recently. I didn’t know there was a right or wrong way. I guess I will give it a try.

  7. I have always put my bra on the “easy” way. I didn’t know there was another way….lol. Even when I’ve gone bra shopping, they have told me how to put the bra on, and it was backwards, not flipping it up (which I used to do because that’s how I learned), then rotating it around, putting my arms through, then making sure my breasts are properly positioned in the cups. Lol! I think I’ll continue being “lazy”!

    As for THM…I was doing great until the 4th of July weekend. I got a taste of that real sugar again and I’m struggling like crazy again! Last week my hubby and big kids were at camp and I went completely off plan, and I’m REALLY struggling to get back on! I need to put Satan back in his place and allow the Lord’s power back in control. It’s just super tough. So, I get it! I need a new mantra, too. I’ve been stuck in the same 5-6 lb range for several weeks now and need to break out of it!

    Thanks for being real and helping me to realize it’s not just me.

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