Defeatist Mentality

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with thoughts of the future.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve sabotaged my own plans by convincing myself there’s no way I can do this diet, exercise, or fill-in-the-blank long-term.

That, my friends, is a defeatist mentality.  I almost called it a defeatist disorder, but I don’t like the word “disorder.”  “Disorder” suggests a disease or an unchangeable inborn medical condition, but it is entirely possible to change your mentality about any particular behavior.

An eating disorder, for example, is completely changeable.  Like most things it takes real work, and part of that work is to stop the negative self-talk.  I don’t know how it happened, but a lot of us have mini voice recorders in our minds that play on a loop, “That won’t work.  You can’t do that.  What’s the point in trying if you’re going to end up failing?”

It may be a parent, it may be yourself or it may be Satan, but one thing is certain: that voice is not God, and that recorder in your head is not allowed to be the final word.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).  In what do you trust, the voice recorder in your head or the Word of God?  On whose strength do you depend, on yours or Christ’s? The Bible clearly states that you can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you.

I’m asking these questions, but I must answer to them, too.  I am guilty, guilty, guilty of giving in to the voices in my head, of relying on my own strength when my own strength is sorely lacking.

“What if I can’t do this?” I ask my husband.  “What if I give up and gain all my weight back?”

What I’m doing is trying to peer into the future, and that is not wise.  It makes no more sense than to say, “Why couldn’t I have found Trim Healthy Mama when I was thirty?”  Both mindsets are futile.  I can’t change the past, and I shouldn’t worry about the future.

The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:34 (New American Standard Version):  “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Secondly, in Matthew 6:27 (also New American Standard Version): “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”

How many times has tomorrow sabotaged our diets or our exercise regimens? I can say with certainty that it has for me.

I can’t dwell in the past, and I can’t dwell in the future.  The only thing I have is the here-and-now.  The here-and-now is what I must deal with, the only thing I can deal with.

I undermine my own victories when I start worrying about tomorrow’s failures.  “What if I can’t do as much time on the treadmill tomorrow?  What if I can’t stick with this level of exercise?  Does that mean I’ll stop losing weight?” See what I’m doing to myself?

The bottom line is I don’t have to put tomorrow’s exercise on today’s dime.  I have to keep all my dimes in today and spend them here.  Tomorrow comes with its own dimes.  God promises us enough grace for when we need it.  We don’t need tomorrow’s grace today.

What if I can’t do this diet tomorrow?  Okay, what if I can’t?  I don’t have to.  I just have to do it today.  What if I can’t do it all day?  The short answer is, I don’t have to.  I just have to do it for the next three hours.

Don’t live in the long-term.  Live in the short-term.

Don’t convince yourself that you can’t stick to this for the rest of your life so there’s no point in trying.  Assure yourself that you can do this for the next five minutes and build on that.

Never be afraid to give yourself a pep talk, either.  Remind yourself as often as you need to exactly how far you’ve come from where you used to be!  You may not have a single person in the world in your corner as someone you can turn to for support, but you have God.   And you have youBlog Closer than I was yesterdayrself.  You can use the same encouragement for yourself that you lavish on your friends.  You can also go here to the THM Beginners’ Group on Facebook.  These ladies are a constant source of encouragement, information and support.  I have met many wonderful friends on this page, and I am confident that you will, too.

In other news, it’s 9:52 a.m., and I’ve already walked a mile and a half today!  I plan to fit a five-minute power walk in, too, at some point.

The biggest news of all is that we get to bring Chelsea home from the hospital today.  She ended up having pseudomonas in her urine, along with a kidney infection and a yeast infection.  Pseudomonas is pretty serious stuff, but she’s able to come home on PICC line antibiotics.

Today’s stats, April 30, 2015:
Weight:  N/A
Exercise:  Ten minutes before a.m. route, twenty minutes before breakfast, ten minutes before lunch (all at 3.0 m.p.h.) and one five-minute session at 3.5.
Blood sugar: 79 (12:20, before lunch), 125 (8:30, two hours after dinner) No Metformin taken.
Breakfast (9:00) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal.
Lunch (12:30) S:  Salad with lean deli turkey strips, celery, cucumbers, onions, grape tomatoes, and ranch dressing.  One-fourth cup of mixed nuts with sea salt.
Dinner (6:00) off-plan:  We picked Chelsea up from the hospital this afternoon, and she wanted to eat at Red Robin.  That would have been fine for being on plan, but I wanted fish.  Oh, and mushrooms.  I forgot about those.  I ate four of them.  Like the fish, I’m sure they had off-plan breading and were, no doubt, fried in off-plan grease.  I did have two salads, though, without croutons, and not even a single french fry.  My resolve may have been a little weakened because I had to forego my afternoon snack.  Usually I eat a snack half an hour after I get home from my afternoon route, but I didn’t have time today.

I do not feel guilty.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I know I’m going to hop right back on plan.  For now, though, I plan to eat some of these no-bake coconut crack bars!  They are in the freezer right now.  For the sweetener I use, for a double batch, sixteen packets of Truvia in half a cup of water.  I think that’s what the girl said who shared the recipe with me.




Creature of Habit

The other day I was thinking about Pam Stenzel.  She has quite a story.  The “product” of rape, she is a pro-life advocate for abstinence who travels around and speaks to high school kids about the consequences and dangers of premarital sex.  I heard her on “Focus on the Family” once, I think, and my daughter and I listened to her once on “For Faith and Family” on the way to my dad’s house one Monday afternoon.  I’ve also watched her videos on YouTube.

If you have teenagers I strongly suggest that you look her up on You Tube. Here, I’ll help you:  Click here for “Sex Has a Price Tag, part I.”

It’s amazing these days how I can tie almost everything I see or hear or everything I have seen or have heard into something to do with Trim Healthy Mama.

For example, my regimen of eating every three hours reminds me of something I heard Pam Stenzel say, and, as you continue reading or if you watch the video I linked above, you’ll get the connection.

I am fast becoming a creature of habit when it comes to my eating.  I don’t have to wonder if I should have something to eat or not.  All I have to do is look at my watch.  Has it been three hours?  Is it time?

Am I hungry?  Doesn’t matter.  Are other people eating?  Doesn’t matter.  Does it look good, sound good, smell good?  Doesn’t matter.  If it’s not time, it’s not time.  If I am hungry, I’ll tuck this away as a learning experience and next time maybe I’ll plan better and eat more protein to hold me until my next meal, but three hours is not an unreasonable amount of time to wait for food.

Pam Stenzel tells high school students there’s an easy way to tell if they should have sex or not, just onesimple question they need to ask themselves:  Am I married?

She goes on to say, “If you’re not married, don’t do it.  If you are married, go for it.  With the person you’re married to.”  

Using Trim Healthy Mama concepts, that simple principle would be: “If it has not been three hours, don’t eat it.  If it has been three hours, go for it.  With the approved foods on your list!”

We are all creatures of habit, and it doesn’t take any longer to build good habits than it does to develop destructive ones.  That goes for an every-three-hour eating plan and also the exercise we get.

I am thankful for my treadmill, my good joint health and, above all, my God who allows me to get my walking in every day.

It wasn’t so long ago that I bought a cane at the country fair downtown because my knee was giving me all kinds of problems.  (I was having trouble getting out of my chair, out of the car and just walking in general.)  Plus, it was my birthday, andI loved the way the carved cane looked and felt in my hand.  I wish I could remember what kind of wood it is.  I knew at one time, but have forgotten.

I can’t even believe the difference in my knee between then and now.  I never used that cane more than once or twice, but it was nice to have, just in case. Now I don’t foresee needing it at all.

Today I caught myself walking along at three miles per hour with a TV remote in one hand and my Cider Pop in the other.  I didn’t feel off-balance or that I needed to hang on to the treadmill to keep from falling off.  I’m still a work in progress, but there is progress to be seen and felt.

Speaking of the treadmill, I did over two miles before lunch today!  Not all at one time, of course.  I did half a mile before work, a mile while I was waiting for my oatmeal, a five-minute power walk before my second preschool route and another half mile before lunch.

That makes two days in a row that I’ve gotten over two miles in!  I excitedly told Ann Marie, the aide on my bus, this afternoon.

She got caught up in the moment and said, “See?  And then it gets to be so much fun that you don’t want to stop.”

That’s where she lost me.  Grinning and shaking my head, I said, “No, it’s not fun.  Maybe it would be for you, Miss Skinny Minnie, but it’s not fun for me.”

Even still, I got ‘er done!  Before lunch, no less!  Now I can coast the whole rest of my day, knowing that I got my exercise in early.

For now I’m drinking my second Cider Pop today without any off-plan water enhancers!  This one has one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (with the “mother”), two doonks of THM Pure Stevia (buy some through my affiliate link here!), a few shakes of ground ginger, a good squirt of vanilla004 extract and a fourth of a teaspoon of caramel extract; and then, of course, I filled my pint-and-a-half jar to the top with ice cubes and Best Choice club soda.  I’m thinking in the future I may bump up the caramel to a half teaspoon to give the drink a deeper color.  The one I’m drinking now looks more like ice tea, and I want it to look (and taste, if at all possible) like Coke!  LOL  I’m also thinking of picking up some root beer extract–if I can find some!  Orange extract and cherry may also be good with this.  Oh, the possibilities!

In other news, Chelsea gets to come home from the hospital t009omorrow, and I got a new haircut today.




Today’s stats, 4/29/15:
Weight:  Nope, not gonna try it.
Exercise:  Ten minutes at 3.0 before work, twenty minutes at 3.0, ten minutes at 3.0 before lunch, and one-five minute session at 3.5 before p.m. preschool route
Blood sugar:  93 (6:30, half an hour after FSF), 116 (11:25, two hours after breakfast)
Pre-breakfast snack (5:30) FP:  FSF (page 240 of the book, plus a heaping teaspoon of instant coffee)
Breakfast (9:00) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal.
Lunch (12:30) S:  Lettuce salad with turkey, celery, cucumbers, onion, grape tomatoes and ranch dressing.  One-fourth cup of mixed nuts.
Afternoon snack (4:30) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero yogurt.
Dinner (8:00) S:  Big Mac in a bowl (actually, I guess it’s on a plate, with lettuce, slivered onion and sliced Kosher dill pickles).  I also had a chocolate peanut butter cream cheese shake.  This is what good girls get for dinner!  😉


“Nothing from Nothing Leaves Nothing'”

My mom always seemed to have some strange ideas.  For instance, she got it into her head that calves had wavy “hair” because their mothers licked them (did she think that’s where the word “cowlick” came from?)–so when we were babies she used to lick our heads so we would have naturally curly hair.  Hey, I warned you: I told you they were strange ideas.

She also used to tell us that hot water froze faster than cold water.  Okay, so that one turned out to be true; I’ll give her that one.  It’s some kind of scientific phenomenon, and it makes absolutely no sense to me, even after I looked it up; but it’s still true nonetheless.

The rest of her conclusions were often laughable, but you could never get her to admit that she was wrong, even when it was “proven” to her.

She was convinced that zero times any number was the number.  For example, zero times five she was convinced was five.  She couldn’t let go of the “five.”

“But, Mom, it’s ZERO times five.”

“But you still have the five,” she persisted.  In my heart of hearts I wonder sometimes if maybe she really did understand it once it was explained to her, but was just too stubborn to admit it.

I was thinking about her this morning on my route.  I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure it was because I was thinking about five minutes on the treadmill being nothing.

FlyLady says, “You can do anything for fifteen minutes.”  Break that down to five minutes, and what you have is a breeze.  Five minutes on the treadmill is nothing, a piece of cake.  Ho hum. Yawn. No big deal. So easy.

So if five minutes on the treadmill is nothing, two times nothing is still nothing. Sorry, Mom.  Logically, that means that ten minutes on the treadmill is nothing. It’s just five minutes more than five minutes.  And five minutes is nothing.  (I do realize that zero times five minutes means I didn’t get on the treadmill at all, but I did!  So it doesn’t really apply to my mom’s argument, but maybe you can see where I’m going with this.)

That mentality got me through half a mile on the treadmill before work this morning.  Ten minutes at three miles per hour.  Then I did another twenty minutes while my oatmeal was in the oven.  Before lunch, I did another five minutes.  I am way ahead of the game now.  A couple more times today I will pick up another five-minute session here or there.  I plan to make one of those five-minute sessions a power walk (3.5 m.p.h.)

While I am becoming accustomed to physical activity now–well, at least walking–I do have one nagging problem.  I have a hard spot right in the middle of the ball of my left foot.  It’s almost like stepping on a rock, and it’s pretty uncomfortable when I walk.  Even with my memory foam Go Walks, it still hurts.

I’ve been entertaining a few different ideas.  Should I get a pedi?  Can they buff that down?  Do I see a foot doctor to have it cut out?  Is there something I can buy at the store to grind it down?  I seem to remember having a grinding tool when we lived in the other house.  It had a circular sandpaper-type coating on a spinning mechanism.  I can just vaguely remember it.  (I asked my sister today and she said it was a dremel  tool.  That sounds right.) Did I use it on Chelsea’s foot?  Did she have a callous?  Whatever happened to it, I wonder. My dad must have given it to me. Where would I obtain one of those and what was it called?

I just did a google search and found something called  Pedi Egg.  I think I’ve seen those before at Wal-Mart.  I’ll look into it.  I’ve just got to find some way to make my walking more comfortable–because I don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

Stats for today, April 28, 2015:
Weight:  N/A
Exercise:  Twenty minutes, ten minutes, two five-minute sessions at three miles per hour, and a third five-minute session at 3.5 m.p.h.  Okay, that’s enough.  No more.  LOL  Whew!
Blood sugar: 95 (12:10, before lunch), 79 (9:10, an hour past dinner, also half an hour after my 3.5 m.p.h. five-minute treadmill session.)
Pre-breakfast snack (5:30) FP:  FSF (page 240 of the book, plus one heaping teaspoon of instant coffee)
Breakfast (9:00) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal.
Lunch (12:30) S:  Lettuce salad with sliced lean oven-roasted deli turkey, celery, cucumber, grape tomatoes, onion and ranch dressing, and 1/4 cup of mixed nuts.
Afternoon snack (4:00) E:  Gala apple, Triple Zero Greek yogurt
Dinner (7:45) S: sirloin burger with egg, Swiss cheese grilled mushrooms and onions, broccoli and cottage cheese.

If my meals seem boring and routine to you, sorry about that.  I do “easy.”  I think I may have mentioned that before, and, did I also mention, you crave what you eat.  It is absolutely 100% true.  Believe me, when lunchtime rolls around each day I am really craving that yummy salad!

Chuck and I eat out a lot, at least on the weekends, but when we’re home I stick to what works for me and “easy” works.  This list does not necessarily reflect what Chuck is having.  Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn’t.  I couldn’t get him to touch broccoli and cottage cheese with a ten-foot pole.  By themselves, I mean.  I have put broccoli in chicken pot pie before, and he ate it, not knowing what was in there.  I have used cottage cheese in stuff before, too (he likes the cottage berry whip from the book), but there’s no way he would eat cottage cheese by itself.

I even decided against the broccoli and cottage cheese for myself.  This was enough.



Walking, Walking, Walking!

We stopped at Piggly Wiggly after church yesterday to pick up a cucumber or two for my lunch salads this week, and I couldn’t find a single one that wasn’t soft and rubbery. I asked Chuck if we could go to Buck’s next to pick up a cucumber, so we went there before heading home.

I picked up three nice cucumbers in the produce aisle and turned to see an old acquaintance rounding the corner with his shopping cart. Our sons used to wrestle in the same little league wrestling club. He called out a greeting and stopped to chat for a few minutes. “You look good!” he said. “How much weight have you lost now?”  He andhis wife were the ones who stopped us one day when we walked to Wal-Mart.  (I just checked back and saw that I have lost four more pounds since then [a month and nine days ago]!  I may be doing better than I thought!)

“Still hanging out at sixty-five pounds,” I said. “But I feel good. I may have lost more inches, but the weight loss has stopped for now. That’s okay, though. It’s better to lose slowly thanfast.”

“That’s right,” he said. He went on to tell me that he has lost eighteen pounds on Trim Healthy Mama. He added, “I gained a couple back last week, but, you know . . . having people over to the house and eating bad, that kind of thing.”

I love that someone saw me in the grocery store and made a point to walk over and tell me how good I was looking.

Those of you who follow my blog know that a few days ago I kind of hit a low point (let’s call it a speed bump) when I stepped on the scale and saw a gain of four pounds. My hubby and daughter were very supportive and assured me that the four pounds meant absolutely nothing. And they were right. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and found that three of those pounds had vanished again.

The scale is fickle. What’s more important than numbers is doing the right things for your health and making wise choices. Our bodies are healing and resting and taking it slowly, and that’s okay. That’s more than okay. We will get there. We will. Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

Today, besides taking my vitamin B-12, I’m also beginning to take two 1,000 mg cinnamon capsules per day.  My blood sugars have already stabilized without the use of Metformin, but a little extra cinnamon can’t be a bad thing.  Maybe I should have Chuckers take them, too.

In other news, did you know you can walk well over a fourth of a mile at 3.5 m.p.h. in just five minutes?!  I had no idea!  Makes sense, though, since I’m walking a mile in twenty minutes, and five minutes is one-fourth of twenty.  Okay, duh.  Another senior moment on my behalf.  In addition to my regular walking, I’m going to try to implement at least one five-minute session a day at 3.5 miles per hour.

I have a few NSVs to report today: #1. The hard tummy bloat under my breasts is becoming soft and squishy! I can jiggle it now! Doesn’t sound like a good thing, does it? LOL But it is!

#2. The necklace my son got me for Christmas goes around my neck now without the extender I bought for it! (You can see the extend005er dangling in the photo.) On Christmas I don’t think I could get it clasped.  It’s still a little tight, but I can definitely see a difference in my neck and chin! The downside to that is all the loose skin on my chin and neck! Boo! I hope all my friends aren’t saying, “Have you noticed how old Dirinda is looking lately?”

#3. I wasn’t going to count this, but my daughter asked me yesterday if I reported my newest NSV, so here it is: my tights fell down below my bottom while I was walking through Super Center on Saturday! I noticed the legs getting baggy and I reached back to find they had fallen below my rear end! It’s a good thing the body shaper I was wearing underneath was also black!!!! I had only one person walking behind me, and it was thankfully a female! LOL

Stats for Monday, April 27, 2015:
Weight:  N/A
Exercise:  Twenty minutes on the treadmill at 3 m.p.h. and two additional five-minute sessions at 3 m.p.h., one ten-minute session at 3 m.p.h. and one five-minute session at 3.5 m.p.h.(WOW!!  That’s over TWO AND A QUARTER MILES on the treadmill today!!!  Somebody stop me!  LOL  I hope I don’t expect this kind of behavior from myself again tomorrow.)
Blood sugar:  100 (8:45, three hours after pre-breakfast snack), 90 (12:30, before lunch).  No Metformin taken.
Pre-breakfast snack (5:30) FP:  FSF (page 240 from the book, plus one heaping teaspoon of instant coffee.) Someone needs to follow me around apparently because I’m almost 100% certain I forgot to use protein powder this morning!  I wondered why it was so much darker than usual.  Duh.
Breakfast (9:00) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal (Sometimes I add a couple of tablespoons of applesauce and use a half cup of oats and almond milk and a half teaspoon of baking powder and cinnamon.)  It was a rough morning!  I almost forgot to add the Truvia!  Man, where is my brain today?
Lunch (12:30) S:  lettuce salad with sliced lean turkey deli meat, celery, cucumber, onion, grape tomatoes, with ranch dressing, and one-fourth cup of mixed nuts with sea salt.
Afternoon snack (4:30) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero strawberry Greek yogurt with a teaspoon of Truvia stirred in.
Dinner (8:00) S:  Sirloin burger with Swiss cheese and grilled onions and mushrooms, green beans and 1% cottage cheese.


A Mover and a Shaker

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I can’t believe the crazy amount of energy eating the Trim Healthy Mama way has given me! When I started my treadmill regimen last year I could barely do two miles per hour, and there’s no way in the world I could have done more than fifteen minutes.

Slowly I increased my speed every few weeks, and after a few months I also increased my time spent on the treadmill by five minutes. The last speed I did was 2.8 m.p.h., and I was not interested in going any faster than this.  A couple of times I even tried to talk myself into going back to 2.7, but my motto with Trim Healthy Mama has typically been “never give in and never go back.” While not particularly a power walk, 2.8 miles per hour is traveling along at a pretty brisk clip.

The other day I happened to look down at my distance when my twenty minutes was nearly up and realized that I wasn’t too far from having walked an entire mile! I decided to do a few more minutes at three miles per hour and 3.5 miles per hour just to get the whole mile in.

Now, 3.5 miles per hour is a power walk! If my legs were any shorter it would be a dead run! I’ve also been throwing in a few weight-loss workouts on the treadmill, so I know by now that 3.5 m.p.h. will not kill me. I could not have said this with any surety prior to my Trim Healthy Mama plan!

Anyway, a couple of days ago it occurred to me that all I have to do to get in a whole mile in twenty minutes is bump my treadmill speed up from 2.8 to three miles per hour. Trust me, .2 m.p.h. is hardly noticeable at all.

This was the second day in a row that I did three miles per hour the entire twenty minutes I was on the treadmill. Since hubby was watching the ball game, I put on my headphones and listened to my mp3 player with my eyes closed!  I thought maybe I could catch a nap and get my exercise in all at the same time.  LOL  Okay, not really, but I was determined just to count the songs played and not watch my time.

Generally, during my treadmill time I engage my mind with some kind of television program or movie.  I thought music would make the treadmill time go too slowly, but, before I knew it, I was not only walking, but practically dancing on the treadmill! I was moving and shaking–getting it done!  When I got off there, I was feeling GOOD!! And my heart rate got up to 135. My doctor would be thrilled about that!

Thank you, Trim Healthy Mama, for my healthy new exercise habits and my new lease on life. Cheers to Trim Healthy Mama for the great food, the increased energy and mobility and the heavenly Cider Pop! For a girl who could not get the apple cider vinegar to go down or, really, even past my nose, this Cider Pop is a dream come true! I tweak it by putting in half a teaspoon of water enhancer instead of the stevia.

Click here for the original Cider Pop recipe.


Stats for 4/26/2015:
Weight:  249.something  (I think I’ll hang out in the 240s for a while.  I’m comfortable with that.  I started thinking today that if I could get rid of the loose skin under my chin and on my upper thighs and tummy and upper arms, I could be down in the 230s by now!)
Exercise: Twenty minutes on the treadmill at three miles per hour!  Woo hoo!
Blood sugar: 96 (3:00, an hour and a half after lunch), 100 (9:30, an hour and a half after dinner).  No Metformin taken.
Breakfast (8:30) E:  FSF and two multi-grain Wasa crackers with one wedge of Laughing Cow Swiss light cheese and Smuckers Simply Fruit.
Lunch (12:30) S:  Leftover sirloin from Chili’s yesterday, steamed broccoli with butter, lemon and salt and 1% cottage cheese.
Afternoon snack (4:30) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero mixed berry Greek yogurt with a teaspoon of Truvia stirred in.
Dinner (7:30) S: Kansas City strip steak, steamed broccoli with butter and lemon, and 1% cottage cheese.

Better Day, THM-Wise

Today was a better day, THM-wise.  I stayed on plan all day and bumped up my treadmill speed to get a whole mile in.  I still got up early, even though it was a Saturday, because we planned a Costco trip today.  I’ve got more prices for my Costco shopping list page!  I also went to Sam’s Club and started a price list for there, too.

We ended up having to take our sweet girl back to the hospital.  After running fevers for three to four weeks and having two rounds of failed oral antibiotics it was time.  I was half afraid they weren’t going to keep her.  It’s really something when we take our daughter to the hospital and hope they admit her. It also says something that Chelsea was hoping to be admitted, too.

The home health nurse has been afraid that Chelsea will become septic.  One thing we do not need at this point–or at any point–is an infection in the blood. Or the shunt, either, now that I’m thinking about it.  We want her home, yes, but we want her healthy.

It has been a long journey, and we just want her well.  With elevated temps, elevated heart rate, elevated white blood cell count and numbers elsewhere across the chart that were concerning, the ER doctor said she wanted to make sure she was admitted so she ran a CRP (I don’t know what that means) to “seal the deal” so they would keep her.  She said she wanted it to be clear that Chelsea was really sick and needed care.

The ER doctor said she had a raging UTI and a yeast infection.

It has been an eventful day, but, again, THM-wise, it was a better day.

Weight:  N/A (No, really.  I have reached weightlessness!  Haha.)
Exercise:  Twenty minutes on the treadmill at 3 m.p.h. (one mile!)
Blood sugar:  86 (9:30, two hours after dinner)
Breakfast (8:30) S: FSF (page 240 from the book, plus a heaping teaspoon of instant coffee).  This was an S because I was almost out of cocoa and had to add some Lily’s chocolate chips to pick up the slack.
Lunch (12:30) S:  A few bites of a six-ounce sirloin, a huge salad and steamed broccoli from Chili’s.
Afternoon snack (4:00) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero strawberry yogurt with a packet of Truvia stirred in.
Dinner (7:30) S:  Five Guys hamburger in a bowl with mayo, mustard, ketchup, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, lettuce and tomato.
Late night snack (10:00) E:  popcorn

I plan to get a lot of rest tomorrow, after feeling exhausted all week, and I’m hoping the same for Chelsea.

Undaunted. Nope, Daunted

The scale is up again.  Boo.  Four pounds from the lowest I’ve seen.  I won’t lie and say I wasn’t the least bit discouraged–because I was.  But the number on the scale does not define me.  I wish I hadn’t weighed a second time, though, because the first time I stepped on the scale this morning I was only up three pounds!

I know how I feel and I feel good.  I even went to Super Center last night to buy some more Mission Carb Smart soft tortillas to use with the rest of the chicken mixture from the night before.

Did you hear me?  I said I went to Super Center in another town on a WEEK NIGHT.  I was zipping along like it was the weekend!  I had crazy energy!  I felt like a seventeen-year-old in the springtime.

[Spoiler alert:  In this blog it won’t be all roses and puppies.  I have lots of good days, but I have bad ones, too.  I’ll chalk this day up as one of the bad ones.   Sometimes honesty is refreshing, but sometimes it’s just plain ugly.  You’ll probably get plenty of each on this blog.]

Twelve hours later:  I’ve decided I’m not stepping on the scale again for a while.  I started this post earlier in the day, and I was trying to keep a stiff upper lip.  It turns out, though, that I am daunted.  Severely daunted.  My sweet hubby and daughter are telling me that four pounds are nothing.  I know that sometimes weight fluctuates dramatically, but, man, four pounds.  Chuck said I’ll probably get up tomorrow and be back down to 248, but I’m not going to find out because I’m not weighing.

I’ve been in a funk all day.  It has been cool and dreary here.  And, did I mention, I’m four pounds fatter.  I tell you what, if we had had a Dollar General within three miles of me after work I would have driven there and drowned my sorrows in a tub of coconut bon bons.  Wait, that doesn’t sound like me. Oh, yes, it does.  It sounds exactly like the old me.  When did she show up?  Oh, of course, she showed up with the four pounds of fat.

The last two nights I had crossovers because I couldn’t stop with just one six-carb chicken enchilada, and I have been drinking several of those Cider Pops a day since Tuesday or Wednesday.  Do you think my weight gain has anything to do with either of those?  Surely it’s not that extra hundred calories I started having every morning with my FSF.  Do you think?  I also don’t get enough sleep at night. Can not getting enough sleep halt weight loss?  I’ve been tired all day.  Or am I depressed?  Or am I both?

Tonight I had one leftover chicken enchilada and about eight leftover roasted Brussels sprouts.  I still needed coconut.  I really needed coconut.

So I made this.  Then I sprinkled it with pecan pieces.  I also thought about dotting it with Lily’s chocolate chips, but sometimes you just need coconut and you don’t want to overpower it with chocolate.


And then I ate the whole thing.  I was supposed to cut it into six or eight bars, but the old me had other ideas.  Now my tummy doesn’t feel so good.  This isn’t coconut bon bons, but it satisfied me just as thoroughly.  I’m doing this one again, only next time I won’t forget to put the teaspoon of vanilla extract in it or the pinch of salt.

I had the blade on my Nutribullet smoking.  I don’t think the Nutribullet is cut out for this recipe.  I do have an ancient plastic food processor, but I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of cleaning it up afterward.  I also didn’t want to deal with the hassle of cooking dinner.  I made my daughter a breakfast sandwich with bread in a mug and my Hamilton Beach Breakfast Sandwich Maker, and Chuck and I heated up our own enchiladas in the microwave.

I joined the THM Turtles group today, but I read several posts on there this evening and felt myself getting more and more discouraged.  What if completely stop losing weight–or, even worse, gain everything back?

If I can get the old four-pounds-fatter me drug into bed at a reasonable hour tonight, maybe the new me will be the one who shows up tomorrow.  Boy, I hope so.  I could use a fresh dose of the new me.

It Never Gets Old

When I was still living at home with my parents and brothers and sister, I developed a nickname, pretty early in life, in fact.  It may have come from the time when I was a toddler.  I could barely talk, and whenever someone asked me what my name was I would reply, “Inna Doyce Haha” (that’s baby speak for “Dirinda Joyce Westfall”). My whole family called me Rin, sometimes Rinnie, sometimes Rinnie Poo, sometimes Rinnie Dah Dah; well, you get the picture.

Fast forward to when I got married.  My husband picked up quickly on my nickname and called me “Rin.”  Over time that evolved to “Big R.”  I know. How romantic, right?  I gave him the benefit of the doubt that it was just a term of endearment and not some overt reference to my size.  After all, my brother had a friend in high school, to whom it was not uncommon for my brother to refer as “Big D, Brian Derstler.”  Brian wasn’t robust, either; he was tall and very slender.  That’s why I gave my husband a pass on what he called me.  It was something I grew up hearing my brother call his friends, and at 5’9″ and a quarter (I was the shortest in my family; let me claim that quarter inch!) I was never petite.  I was tall; however, I was maybe not-so-slender, especially after the kids were born.

A few nights ago before we went to sleep, Chuck said, “Do you remember when I used to call you ‘Big Rin’?”

To be honest, I actually could only remember “Big R,” but I responded in the affirmative.

“I can’t really call you that anymore, can I?”  That kind of came from out of the blue, but I enjoyed hearing it just the same.   It made me feel small, and I’m still a long way from being small.  Even so, it was nice to hear.  What’s funny is that he hasn’t called me that for quite some time, anyway.  Usually he calls me “Mom” or “Mama,” against my many protests.

“I’m not your mom,” I always say, to which he responds, “Well, you’re somebody’s mom.”

I don’t mind his calling me “Mom” when he’s talking to me in front of the kids, but if we’re riding in the car by ourselves I don’t understand the point.

I came home the other day to find my son’s car in our driveway.  When I walked in the front door he was sitting in a recliner in the living room watching something on DVR.  “Hi, Mom,” he said.  “You look different.  How much weight have you lost now?”

I loved hearing that, too!

As a matter of fact, I have only lost about a pound in almost a month’s time. I’m considering joining the THM Turtles group! Perhaps I’m still losing inches; I don’t know, but I’m not going to stress over it.  I packed it on, and it will eventually unpack itself back off.  Wait, that sounds like a double negative or something.  Oh, well, you know what I mean.

I was in Piggly Wiggly a couple of days ago with Chuck when I saw a former aide from my bus.  I hadn’t seen her since last September at the Country Fair uptown.  (Back then I had hardly recognized her.  I was almost afraid to say hello because I kept going back and forth with myself.  “Is that her?”  “No, that’s not her.  She doesn’t have a grandbaby that age.”  “Wait, I think that really is her.”  Finally I decided that it must be her, so I called out to her.  We talked for a while and she told me about the surgery she had had and that she had dropped thirty pounds.  She’s Little-Miss-Five-Foot-Nothing and was never overweight, really, to begin with, so thirty pounds off her already-smallish frame was really noticeable.  She looked like a completely different person. She looked great, but different.)  When I saw her standing in the produce section at the Pig I said, “Hi, Mary!”

She turned at the sound of my voice and said, “Well, hi!”  Then she did a pronounced double-take.  “Well, look at you!” she said with a huge smile.  “You have really slimmed down!!”

“Sixty-five pounds,” I beamed.

I’m not kidding.  It just never, never gets old.



A Birthday Party in Every Glass


I made my sweet Chuckers a Cider Pop this morning using the Great Value brand energy water enhancer (off-plan, I’m sure, but zero calories, zero fat, zero carbs).  I picked up the cherry limeade variety especially for him because he used to get those at Sonic, back before he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Actually, I think my sister got him hooked on the strawberry vanilla limeades, and he usually got those the last several times he went.

A couple of nights ago, after I picked up my fabulous pint-and-a-half jars with the wide mouths and the colorful new lid inserts and straws, I gave him a sip of my grape Crush Cider Pop on my way past his chair.  He seemed to enjoy it, so I thought, “Hey, what better way to sneak a little ACV past my skeptical and finicky hubby than to mix it up with some cherry limeade and club soda?” This guy doesn’t even like apples, for crying out loud; did I really think it would be possible to get him to drink apple cider vinegar?

This morning, as I whisked up my oatmeal and slurped down my morning FSF, I put a couple of sausage biscuits in the microwave for him.  We don’t normally eat biscuits, but he bought some just for himself, to use up our Easter ham on breakfast sandwiches, and we had four biscuits left in ziplock baggies.

When I brought his drink to him, he tasted it and made a face.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “There seems to be more of a kick to it than your grape had the other night.”  He drank half of it, though, with his sandwiches.  Of course, that wasn’t a major feat since his jar was filled to the top with ice cubes.

I told him he wouldn’t reap the health benefits if he didn’t drink all of it, so he took the rest to work with him.  Hopefully he finished it on the half-hour commute to Warrensburg.

Let me list again for you exactly what those benefits are!

•It is abundant in potassium which is imperative for growth and building muscles, the transmission of nerve impulses, heart activity and preventing brittle teeth and hair loss.

•It encourages weight loss by breaking down fats to be used instead of stored in your adipose tissue.

•It is loaded with acetic acid which slows the digestion of starch and lowers the rise in glucose levels that occur post mealtime.

•It is anti-viral, anti-fungal, and anti-bacterial due to its high levels of malic acid.

•It is super alkalinizing though being rich in ash.

•It lowers bad cholesterol and helps to regulate blood pressure.

•It is a powerful detox tool and improves bowel function.

•It clarifies the skin.

•New research reveals it shows strength in killing cancer cells or slowing their growth.

The preceding was copied and pasted from Trim Healthy Mama’s recipe for Good Girl Moonshine.  Find the recipe by clicking here.

Find the recipe for Cider Pop by clicking here.

I have not tried the regular Cider Pop, yet, with just the two doonks (a doonk is 1/32 of a teaspoon) of stevia, but I am enjoying the grape Crush Cider Pop immensely.  I made myself a cherry limeade one, too, before I left for work this morning, and that one is also pretty good.

While I’m thinking about it, let me share again about some water enhancers that are on plan.  They are called Stur, and you can find them on Amazon by clicking here.

I can’t even begin to describe for you how excited I am to finally be able to consume ACV!  The club soda really does make all the difference.  The water enhancers I bought were all found at Wal-Mart in the Kool-aid/drink mix section.  I paid $2.48 each for them.  They contain twenty-four servings (1/2 teaspoon per serving), so that’s only ten cents per serving.  Even factoring in the tablespoon of ACV and the club soda it’s still cheaper than a Sonic run!  Not to mention that it’s a hundred times better for you!

I thought it would be cute to match the lid inserts and straws to the color of Cider Pop.  For the cherry limeade I’m using red, of course, and I’m using the purple for the grape.  When I find the blue, I’ll use that for the blue raspberry.  With the brightly colored inserts and Cider Pop, it really does remind me of a birthday party!  If, in fact, the ACV helps to prolong your life by doing all the things for you listed above, you really can think of it as “a birthday party in every glass”!  Just maybe, instead of living until you’re fifty-seven, you can make it to eighty-three–or ninety.  Or, hey–nobody knows but God–maybe even past a hundred!

With Trim Healthy Mama, you can regain control of your health right now! You don’t have to die because of medical problems caused by being overweight.  You can take steps right now to get that diabetes under control.  You can take steps right now to prevent heart disease.

Once you decide to begin this journey with Trim Healthy Mama, you may find lots of encouragement and support by clicking here.

As always, if you want to order a book or any of THM’s  sweeteners or other supplies, including their newly released baking blend, please consider using my affiliate link by clicking here.  You may always find this link on the sidebar menu of my blog under “Pages.”  Thanks in advance!

Today’s stats:
Weight:  didn’t check, but I probably will tomorrow.
Exercise:  Twenty minutes on the treadmill at 2.8 m.p.h.
Blood sugar:  89 (6:15, two hours after afternoon snack)
Pre-breakfast snack (5:30) FP:  FSF from page 240 of the book (plus one heaping teaspoon of instant coffee)
Breakfast (8:45) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal (I used the McCormick’s Irish Oatmeal, or steel-cut oats, from Costco)
Lunch (12:20) S:  lettuce salad with celery, cucumber, onion, grape tomatoes, and ranch dressing.  One-fourth cup of Hunter’s nut/snack mix from Sam’s Club.
Afternoon snack (4:00) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero strawberry yogurt with a teaspoon of Truvia stirred in.
Dinner (7:45) S:  Mrs. Criddle’s Kitchen’s Easy Chicken Enchiladas  made with Mission’s Carb Smart soft tortillas (these can be found at Super Center in both the six-gram [of carbs] and three-gram [of carbs] varieties) and blackened green beans (they weren’t supposed to be).

This weekend I plan to go back to Costco and stock up on things that are beginning to run low.  Find my handy list of things I like to buy at Costco and their prices here.  I also plan to look for Ball’s blue lid inserts and straws at Super Center.  I should have snapped them up at our Wal-Mart when I first saw them!  Now they are sold out.

Weekend, weekend, we’re almost there!  Have a great rest of the week, friends!



Cider POP!!

As promised, today I’m writing a little about apple cider vinegar and its health benefits.  Boring, right?  Pretty much, but if you follow Trim Healthy Mama you will hear quite a bit of buzz about something called “Good Girl Moonshine.”  A lot of the ladies drink it faithfully.  I can’t make a go of it.  To be honest I’ve only tried it about three times, but that apple cider vinegar is nasty, nasty, nasty.  I have a whole shelf full of different flavors of tea that ladies have urged me to try in my “GGMS,” but I’ve kind of given up on it after my first few failed attempts at making something palatable.

Having said that, I’m copying the following information off the Trim Healthy Mama Facebook page.  These are some of the healthy benefits that apple cider vinegar offers you:

•It is abundant in potassium which is imperative for growth and building muscles, the transmission of nerve impulses, heart activity and preventing brittle teeth and hair loss.

•It encourages weight loss by breaking down fats to be used instead of stored in your adipose tissue.

•It is loaded with acetic acid which slows the digestion of starch and lowers the rise in glucose levels that occur post mealtime.

•It is anti-viral, anti-fungal, and anti-bacterial due to its high levels of malic acid.

•It is super alkalinizing though being rich in ash.

•It lowers bad cholesterol and helps to regulate blood pressure.

•It is a powerful detox tool and improves bowel function.

•It clarifies the skin.

•New research reveals it shows strength in killing cancer cells or slowing their growth.

After reading all that, who wouldn’t want a big daily dose of this wonderful ingredient, right?  I think I may have found a solution.

May I introduce to you “Cider Pop“!!

I’d been struggling to increase my water consumption when I stumbled across the Mio water enhancers that my brother and his wife brought to my daughter while she was in the hospital.  I’d read on THM Beginners that they were off-plan, but, after reading the back label and seeing they had no calories, I decided to use them, anyway.  At least they would help me drink more water, and they’re quite delicious.

In my search for Skinny Girl water enhancers at my tiny-town Walmart, which are on plan, I found some other ones that caught my eye.  I’ve always been a big fan of Crush, both the orange and grape varieties.  When I saw Crush water enhancers I was intrigued.  Yes, unfortunately, these have off-plan ingredients, too (or at least one off-plan ingredient), but, again, no calories, no fat, and only one carb or something like that.

When I ran across the recipe for Cider Pop a few days ago, I wondered how hard it would be to drink the ACV in sparkling water (aka seltzer water, aka club soda).  I decided to give it a whirl and picked up both the orange and grape Crush water enhancers, along with the Great Value brand in blue raspberry.  The club soda I had to buy at Piggly Wiggly because our Walmart doesn’t have any bubbly water at all that doesn’t have sweeteners in it, but the Best Choice brand is only ninety-nine cents for a two-litre bottle.

Let me just say, “Wow WEEE!”  I drank four grape Cider Pops yesterday in my new pint and a half jars that I picked up at Walmart when I got some new Ball wide mouth lid inserts and straws.  I am excited about this on so many levels. It had been months and months since I’ve had any kind of pop, and this stuff makes my taste buds go “ZING”!  I can’t wait to try the other flavors, but I probably won’t do that until I run out of the grape!  Haha!  I really, really love the grape!  (Click here to check out the Stur water enhancers that are on plan!  They have received positive reviews from THM’rs, so it’s worth checking out!)

I am also thrilled about my new pint and a half jars with the lid inserts and straws!  Not only are they just so darn cute and colorful, they fit in the cup holders in my car and bus!  That’s worth the investment right there!  I got the purple color, but next on my list is the blue (to match the color of the blue raspberry Cider Pop, of course!).  In my opinion, you can’t have too many lid inserts and straws.  Pretty up your beverages!  Make every sip seem like a birthday party!

Stats for Wednesday, April 22:
Weight:  didn’t check.
Exercise:  20:50 minutes on the treadmill (mostly at 2.8 m.p.h., but I bumped it up to 3.0 and 3.5 m.p.h. the last few minutes to get a mile in).
Blood sugar:  95 (8:30, after treadmill, before breakfast),
Pre-breakfast (5:20) FP:  FSF (page 240 in the book, only I use a heaping teaspoon of instant coffee and eight packets of Truvia).
Breakfast (8:45) E:  Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal (Lately, I have been increasing the oats to 1/2 cup and the almond milk to 1/2 cup, the baking powder to 1/2 teaspoon, the cinnamon to a heaping 1/2 teaspoon, and I’ve been using a tablespoon of Truvia, which I almost forgot to put in it this morning!  That’s probably the only way you can mess up this recipe, forgetting to add sweetener.  I have seen, however, that at least one lady likes to make hers without any sweetener at all.  It would take me a while to get used to that, I’m afraid!).
Lunch (12:15) S:  Lettuce salad with celery, cucumber, onion, grape tomatoes, two slices of lean oven-roasted turkey from the deli and ranch dressing and 1/4 cup of off-plan Hunter nut mix from Sam’s Club.  I have decided that no salad I can buy at any restaurant can stack up to what I’ve been fixing at home for lunch every day!  Eight bites into it and my salivary glands are still going crazy!  I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed salad so much in my entire life!!  (I am grateful for parents who fixed so many yummy lettuce salads while I was growing up.  We had our own garden which we kids helped to tend.  Okay, we were kind of forced to help–and much of our time in the garden was spent sitting on our tin buckets and lobbing big dirt clods at one another–but the rewards were great.  My dad always put a bottle of pop [remember when pop came in sixteen-ounce glass bottles?] in the freezer for each of us.  We knew, when we came in from weeding the garden, a nice, slushy bottle of Coke or Dr. Pepper would be waiting for us.)
Afternoon snack (4:00) E:  Gala apple and Triple Zero strawberry yogurt with a packet of Truvia stirred in.
Dinner (7:45) S:  Cheesy chicken enchilada’s from Mrs. Criddle’s Kitchen. Chuck will be ecstatic about that; they are wonderful!  At least that’s what the plans are for lunch, afternoon snack and dinner at this moment in time, 9:43 a.m.  The Lord may have other ideas.

Have a GREAT Wednesday, everyone!  Be kind to others–and to yourself, too!