Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with thoughts of the future. I can’t count the number of times I’ve sabotaged my own plans by convincing myself there’s no way I can do this diet, exercise, or fill-in-the-blank long-term.
That, my friends, is a defeatist mentality. I almost called it a defeatist disorder, but I don’t like the word “disorder.” “Disorder” suggests a disease or an unchangeable inborn medical condition, but it is entirely possible to change your mentality about any particular behavior.
An eating disorder, for example, is completely changeable. Like most things it takes real work, and part of that work is to stop the negative self-talk. I don’t know how it happened, but a lot of us have mini voice recorders in our minds that play on a loop, “That won’t work. You can’t do that. What’s the point in trying if you’re going to end up failing?”
It may be a parent, it may be yourself or it may be Satan, but one thing is certain: that voice is not God, and that recorder in your head is not allowed to be the final word.
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31). In what do you trust, the voice recorder in your head or the Word of God? On whose strength do you depend, on yours or Christ’s? The Bible clearly states that you can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you.
I’m asking these questions, but I must answer to them, too. I am guilty, guilty, guilty of giving in to the voices in my head, of relying on my own strength when my own strength is sorely lacking.
“What if I can’t do this?” I ask my husband. “What if I give up and gain all my weight back?”
What I’m doing is trying to peer into the future, and that is not wise. It makes no more sense than to say, “Why couldn’t I have found Trim Healthy Mama when I was thirty?” Both mindsets are futile. I can’t change the past, and I shouldn’t worry about the future.
The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:34 (New American Standard Version): “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Secondly, in Matthew 6:27 (also New American Standard Version): “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”
How many times has tomorrow sabotaged our diets or our exercise regimens? I can say with certainty that it has for me.
I can’t dwell in the past, and I can’t dwell in the future. The only thing I have is the here-and-now. The here-and-now is what I must deal with, the only thing I can deal with.
I undermine my own victories when I start worrying about tomorrow’s failures. “What if I can’t do as much time on the treadmill tomorrow? What if I can’t stick with this level of exercise? Does that mean I’ll stop losing weight?” See what I’m doing to myself?
The bottom line is I don’t have to put tomorrow’s exercise on today’s dime. I have to keep all my dimes in today and spend them here. Tomorrow comes with its own dimes. God promises us enough grace for when we need it. We don’t need tomorrow’s grace today.
What if I can’t do this diet tomorrow? Okay, what if I can’t? I don’t have to. I just have to do it today. What if I can’t do it all day? The short answer is, I don’t have to. I just have to do it for the next three hours.
Don’t live in the long-term. Live in the short-term.
Don’t convince yourself that you can’t stick to this for the rest of your life so there’s no point in trying. Assure yourself that you can do this for the next five minutes and build on that.
Never be afraid to give yourself a pep talk, either. Remind yourself as often as you need to exactly how far you’ve come from where you used to be! You may not have a single person in the world in your corner as someone you can turn to for support, but you have God. And you have yourself. You can use the same encouragement for yourself that you lavish on your friends. You can also go here to the THM Beginners’ Group on Facebook. These ladies are a constant source of encouragement, information and support. I have met many wonderful friends on this page, and I am confident that you will, too.
In other news, it’s 9:52 a.m., and I’ve already walked a mile and a half today! I plan to fit a five-minute power walk in, too, at some point.
The biggest news of all is that we get to bring Chelsea home from the hospital today. She ended up having pseudomonas in her urine, along with a kidney infection and a yeast infection. Pseudomonas is pretty serious stuff, but she’s able to come home on PICC line antibiotics.
Today’s stats, April 30, 2015:
Exercise: Ten minutes before a.m. route, twenty minutes before breakfast, ten minutes before lunch (all at 3.0 m.p.h.) and one five-minute session at 3.5.
Blood sugar: 79 (12:20, before lunch), 125 (8:30, two hours after dinner) No Metformin taken.
Breakfast (9:00) E: Baked blueberry yogurt oatmeal.
Lunch (12:30) S: Salad with lean deli turkey strips, celery, cucumbers, onions, grape tomatoes, and ranch dressing. One-fourth cup of mixed nuts with sea salt.
Dinner (6:00) off-plan: We picked Chelsea up from the hospital this afternoon, and she wanted to eat at Red Robin. That would have been fine for being on plan, but I wanted fish. Oh, and mushrooms. I forgot about those. I ate four of them. Like the fish, I’m sure they had off-plan breading and were, no doubt, fried in off-plan grease. I did have two salads, though, without croutons, and not even a single french fry. My resolve may have been a little weakened because I had to forego my afternoon snack. Usually I eat a snack half an hour after I get home from my afternoon route, but I didn’t have time today.
I do not feel guilty. Tomorrow is a new day, and I know I’m going to hop right back on plan. For now, though, I plan to eat some of these no-bake coconut crack bars! They are in the freezer right now. For the sweetener I use, for a double batch, sixteen packets of Truvia in half a cup of water. I think that’s what the girl said who shared the recipe with me.